5 years with Jesus

13 January 2010
I met in the 'upper room' of our church with 3 missionaries who were like a family to me, to pray about a few things that were going on in my life. They didn't quite know where I stood with God because at that point I believed in God but had it all mixed up with the New Age.
So, we met to pray.
A lot of things happened that week, prior to our meeting: I stopped any contact I had with my previous partner, I quit my meditation group and got really attacked that I'm being brainwashed…

So, we met in the office, the 'upper room',  at 7pm. One of the missionaries was preparing me through the whole week, telling me everything will be ok and I got nothing to worry about… and I had no idea why he was saying those things ~ we were just getting together to pray, right?

As we all gathered, we prayed and invited the Holy Spirit to speak and bring out some memories in my mind that needed healing. I remembered a lot of painful memories from the past but there was one memory that was very normal but I only remember one picture of the whole day. Well, that was the memory we digged into.

There was a lot of junk that needed to be brought up, and a lot of healing and clarification that I needed to receive from God. 7 hours later we talked about what sin is, then I repented and accepted Jesus into my heart. He gave me my life verse:

After that, one of the missionaries said she keeps thinking of one worship song: Here I am To Worship. That is now one of my favorite worship songs.

Jesus showed many other things and gave a few promises… and it was amazing. I spent the night at one of the missionary's houses that night and had a dream Jesus was coming out of the fog, with his arms wide open, waiting for me to come to Him. I don't think that was a dream.

It's amazing that that happened 5 years ago. To me it seems as if it happened 20 years ago :)

My life is so completely different, and God took me through so many things in the past 5 years: I went to Bible College in Hungary for 1,5 years, I was able to serve in my home church in all different ministries to see where God would want me to serve Him, I was able to visit Africa for the first time and got my calling confirmed, I met amazing people who are now my best friends, I moved to Kocevje where I'm now a national missionary… I mean, a roller coaster of amazing things! It's never boring with God, that's for sure! :)

I am thankful He waited on me. And He waited for 7 years too…
I love His patience, His grace… and His everlasting, unconditional love.


If you'd like to get a bigger story of my past, how God waited on me and how my life changed, you can read it HERE. 

God's grace and faithfulness.

I moved to Kocevje in September 2013. 18 hours before I literally sat in the van and drove towards Kocevje with all my belongings in it, God shared Psalm 121 with me through a friend.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

 He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
 indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

 The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
 the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

Of course God ALWAYS knows our hearts, better than we know them, and He knows exactly what we need to hear, where we need to be encouraged and what promises He needs to give/remind us of. 

There are many, many very personal and very applicable promises in Psalm 121, and the Lord knew I so needed them for when I moved to Kocevje. I didn't know where exactly I'll be, what exactly I'll be doing or even how long I'd be staying. I only had His call, His Word and His promises. And that was AND still is enough.

2014 was a hard year for me. You could say it was a year of growth and faith, and that's not an easy process, yet very needed, and I'm so grateful that God took me through it. (that does not mean I would ever repeat it, ever again). 

As I was in my car yesterday, driving from the doctor's, I was listening to worship music and this song came up. I've heard it millions of times before but just like we read the same passage multiple times through our lives, and it speaks to us in different ways, this song spoke to me yesterday and reminded me of God's promises and His faithfulness to me. 

We serve and belong to an amazing Father who loves us more than we can ever imagine, and wants us for Himself more than we can ever understand. He is a jealous God and He will fight for His people. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, He never lies and He always fulfills His promises. He is a God that we can trust without a single doubt, a God that will never ever let us down and will always only lead us to the best possible thing we can have in life. 

Winter Wonderland

Winter is definitely not one of my favorite seasons of the year. It's all wet, mostly cloudy and freeeeeezing. It will be −24°C on the New Year's night. That's −11°F!!! 

But when the first snow falls, especially if it's around Christmas time… well, I have to admit I did enjoy some winter~ish landscape :)

I do have to admit… it's a very pretty winter wonderland :)

We don't have any Christmas traditions at home so I started my own a few years ago. I always watch Home Alone 1 (sometimes Home Alone 2, too) and While You Were Sleeping. Oh, what great movies.
And I make myself a Christmas dinner ~ fresh salmon with baked potatoes. Yum! :)

I've been at the College group for Christmas party for the past few years and we do white elephant, play different games and since it's Jesus' birthday, we give Him the gift of words and thank Him for different things. He sure is wonderful!


What are your Christmas traditions? :)

God's amazing provision

I have been living in Kocevje for 1 year, 2 months and 11 days. There have been good and bad days, ups and downs, joyful and discouraging moments ~ just like everywhere else on this planet.

I lived with the Pastor of the church in Kocevje and his family for 10 months. We originally said I'll stay there for 3 months until I find my own place but that got extended to 10 months. I am so thankful I got to stay with them and be a part of their family, but for the sake of ministry we thought it was better for me to find my own place.

Shawn, Christena and I were looking for an apartment for 6 months before God really brought us to the one He had for me, and now for Andrea as well (she is an extended JV intern, staying until mid December). It was a surprise how we even found it but God was so faithful… and He really showed us that He is in complete control about it.
We did everything we possibly could and none of the apartments we looked at suited me, for different reasons. This one, however, suits every single angle and is an answered prayer in many, many ways. I live 2min away from the center of the town; rent is as low as it can possibly be; I have a beautiful view; my landlord is very nice; my contract is for a year and I can move out any time I want, if that's what I decide.

Work in progress...

… and the finished product :)

 We actually do have beds now, but we didn't at that time :)

God is full of surprises. I didn't have much faith in finding an apartment during the summer because I didn't really have much time. But out of those 6 days I had to look for one, God brought me to this one on the 6th day, in the evening. And I knew right away that this is the one God had for us. He wasn't too late… He just worked in His own time.

God is the God who provides. Always. I thought He would provide sooner but He knew exactly when I needed an apartment. He sees the big picture and He works in His own timing.
Sometimes I don't see Him work and I think He forgot about me or that He won't provide… oh, how little do I know my God. He always has the best in mind for us. It's true that that sometimes means we don't get what we pray for; but even then He provides something different, something even better. He knows us and He knows what we need. I needed to wait for this apartment but boy, oh, boy, it was worth it!

“Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well." ~ Luke 12:27~31

The History Makers

I was invited to join a conference for young leaders of Slovenia, called The History Makers. The conference lasted 6 days and we talked about our relationship with God and all the important parts of it in our lives (integrity, intimacy with God, stewardship of different things…). ILI team (International Leadership Institute) has been equipping young leaders all over the world for years and this was their first time in Slovenia.

It was an intense conference and I have to admit that it was hard to sit still and 'study' for hours every day, especially after such a busy summer, but I got so much out of it. We had prayer teams where we prayed for one another; we had alone time with God where we sought His call for our lives and asked to give us a vision; we had free time where we played board games :) ...

It was really good to be reminded of all the core things of our walk with the Lord, and it's good to be equipped with all the material they presented to us so we can share it and be leaders who make leaders for the Lord. Ultimately, that is their vision, and it's ours too.

Performing Arts Camp 2014 - Fearless

PA Camp has been a highlight of my summer for the past 5 years. The schedule of the camp is not that different than an English Camp schedule; instead of English classes we have choir and dance practices. Instead of crazy games in the afternoon we have different workshops. Evening program is very similar to other camps, as are late nights as well.
But there is one difference, a really big one too. At PA Camp we all work together towards a goal - to put together a show of singing, dancing, acting and playing instruments, in just 8 days. We sweat together, laugh together, sometimes even cry together; when we are discouraged, we encourage each other, practice the dance routine outside of practice... and we do it all TOGETHER. It's such an amazing experience that by the end of the week, when it's time to say goodbye, most of us cry when it's time to say goodbye, even if we know we'll see each other again.

This year's theme was FEARLESS. When I visited US this past winter, I visited Modesto, CA which is where most of the people from PA Camp US team come from. They took me to see San Francisco one day, and on our drive back Lin, Deb, Chloe and I started talking about recent struggles we've had in our lives, and we realized they were mostly connected to fear. As we talked about upcoming PA Camp, Lin suggested that Fearless could be this year's camp theme. A couple of weeks later that was confirmed by all the directors of camp. 

The whole show was putting together a message that we don't have to be afraid because God is with us. We are His children and He takes care of us.

We had 5 people coming from Kocevje, including me, and it was a really good time of connecting in a different way. 4 of us were in the band workshop, and another girl was in a singing workshop. She didn't know any of us but she came to camp because it seemed interesting. Such courage! :) She is such a joyful person, always smiling and encouraging others.

Band worskhop

All people in black on the picture are from Kocevje :) 

God spoke to me a lot about my fear in life during camp. Fear used to control my life in a really big way. I didn't know that until my spiritual eyes opened when I accepted Jesus into my life. When that happened, God even gave me a life verse (He knows me so well...): "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

Andrea (an extended intern who's my roommate until December) and I just recently wrote down our fears and then next to them wrote down the truth from the Bible (so any kind of verse that talks about that fear and pretty much kills it). We will return to it every time any of those fears comes up and be reminded of God's truth. Fear doesn't come from God and we need to keep our eyes focused on Him!

I hope I can be a part of next year's camp as well... I really feel like I come alive there, I can really be myself, and I love seeing how our youth comes alive and flourishes!

At the American Ambassador's house. He's been inviting us for a picnic for 3 years in a row! :) Such a privilege! And I will never say no to eating American food :)

KRIZ

KRIZ is one of the most intense and challenging Theology trainings I've ever been to, and I absolutely love it!

This was my 4th summer doing Kriz. It's a 2~year Theology program we have in Slovenia, non~credited, where we read through the whole Bible together, we meet 4 weekends during the year and we meet for 2 weeks during the summer, up in the Slovene mountains, and study the Bible.
This year was the most challenging because we were talking about our hearts and where we get Identity, Love, Pleasure and Place. We ultimately need it from God, our Father, but we too often look for it in other people, in places, in activities, in relationships… When we only need to look up to Him.

Ana and I have been in a core group for 2 years and we graduated together this summer. We have been encouraging and challenging each other, praying for one another, laughing and crying… it's been an amazing journey and even though we officially finished Kriz program and we're not in a core group anymore, we are. We will always be. I love it when God creates such good + deep friendships! Though Ana is more than a friend to me; she's my sister, and not just in Christ. 

I love this group of people!! :)