5 years with Jesus

13 January 2010
I met in the 'upper room' of our church with 3 missionaries who were like a family to me, to pray about a few things that were going on in my life. They didn't quite know where I stood with God because at that point I believed in God but had it all mixed up with the New Age.
So, we met to pray.
A lot of things happened that week, prior to our meeting: I stopped any contact I had with my previous partner, I quit my meditation group and got really attacked that I'm being brainwashed…

So, we met in the office, the 'upper room',  at 7pm. One of the missionaries was preparing me through the whole week, telling me everything will be ok and I got nothing to worry about… and I had no idea why he was saying those things ~ we were just getting together to pray, right?

As we all gathered, we prayed and invited the Holy Spirit to speak and bring out some memories in my mind that needed healing. I remembered a lot of painful memories from the past but there was one memory that was very normal but I only remember one picture of the whole day. Well, that was the memory we digged into.

There was a lot of junk that needed to be brought up, and a lot of healing and clarification that I needed to receive from God. 7 hours later we talked about what sin is, then I repented and accepted Jesus into my heart. He gave me my life verse:

After that, one of the missionaries said she keeps thinking of one worship song: Here I am To Worship. That is now one of my favorite worship songs.

Jesus showed many other things and gave a few promises… and it was amazing. I spent the night at one of the missionary's houses that night and had a dream Jesus was coming out of the fog, with his arms wide open, waiting for me to come to Him. I don't think that was a dream.

It's amazing that that happened 5 years ago. To me it seems as if it happened 20 years ago :)

My life is so completely different, and God took me through so many things in the past 5 years: I went to Bible College in Hungary for 1,5 years, I was able to serve in my home church in all different ministries to see where God would want me to serve Him, I was able to visit Africa for the first time and got my calling confirmed, I met amazing people who are now my best friends, I moved to Kocevje where I'm now a national missionary… I mean, a roller coaster of amazing things! It's never boring with God, that's for sure! :)

I am thankful He waited on me. And He waited for 7 years too…
I love His patience, His grace… and His everlasting, unconditional love.


If you'd like to get a bigger story of my past, how God waited on me and how my life changed, you can read it HERE. 

God's grace and faithfulness.

I moved to Kocevje in September 2013. 18 hours before I literally sat in the van and drove towards Kocevje with all my belongings in it, God shared Psalm 121 with me through a friend.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

 He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
 indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

 The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
 the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

Of course God ALWAYS knows our hearts, better than we know them, and He knows exactly what we need to hear, where we need to be encouraged and what promises He needs to give/remind us of. 

There are many, many very personal and very applicable promises in Psalm 121, and the Lord knew I so needed them for when I moved to Kocevje. I didn't know where exactly I'll be, what exactly I'll be doing or even how long I'd be staying. I only had His call, His Word and His promises. And that was AND still is enough.

2014 was a hard year for me. You could say it was a year of growth and faith, and that's not an easy process, yet very needed, and I'm so grateful that God took me through it. (that does not mean I would ever repeat it, ever again). 

As I was in my car yesterday, driving from the doctor's, I was listening to worship music and this song came up. I've heard it millions of times before but just like we read the same passage multiple times through our lives, and it speaks to us in different ways, this song spoke to me yesterday and reminded me of God's promises and His faithfulness to me. 

We serve and belong to an amazing Father who loves us more than we can ever imagine, and wants us for Himself more than we can ever understand. He is a jealous God and He will fight for His people. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, He never lies and He always fulfills His promises. He is a God that we can trust without a single doubt, a God that will never ever let us down and will always only lead us to the best possible thing we can have in life.