I did it!

I sent the application forms for colleges to Colorado and Sweden!
WOOHOO! :)

I was SO nervous the whole day yesterday. I'm perfectionist when it comes to forms and school things (well.. not always but now I was) and sometimes I wish I wouldn't be because it's driving me crazy! Everything has to be like it's suppose to be and if it's not, I'm gonna work on it until it is.
I had everything packed in the envelopes and I still checked 3 times if everything was in order and then I went to the post office and sent it.
A HUGE relief!
I'm sending the Calvary Chapel application via email tonight. And then all I have to do is.. well, wait :)

I told my mom that I'm sending the applications yesterday and she had a bunch of questions that I didn't know how to answer because I have no idea if I'll get accepted anywhere or some people said I might get accepted on all 3 schools. What to do then? Pray.
Yesterday one lady said she's gonna pray I choose a school that my heart really desires. I thought "Oh, that's nice." But my answer to her was "Please pray that He'll tell me where to go and please pray that I'll hear Him when He'll tell me that".
I'm really nervous I wont hear Him or I might will but won't be sure if that's really Him or just my inner voice or.. something. Katka gave me a great advice the other day when we talked about this topic and she helped A LOT but one part of me is still kind of worried.

We'll see :) I'm just so thankful for this opportunity and I'll try not to worry or think about it until I hear something from schools.

Jesus inside my darkness

"You have always belonged to the Father, Son and Spirit, and always will. Jesus has come to find you in your mythology, where you cannot believe the Father's heart, where you are lost in the lie and its darkness and cannot see the Father's face. "Come unto Me" means that Jesus Christ has crossed all worlds to find you. He has braved the seas of your illusions to find your heart. He is standing inside your darkness when he commands you to come to him. Dare to trust him.
The strange thing is that your pain is the proof that you belong to the triune God, proof that Jesus Christ is faithful to you, proof that he has found you in your darkness."
- Across all worlds, Jesus inside our darkness (C. Baxter Kruger)

I love this book. It gave me a lot of confirmations and some new answers + encouragement to keep trusting God and keep walking in the light.

I dare to trust God and it hurts. It's been hurting even more since I got baptised and it's hard.
It's kind of hard to believe that pain means good and at times I just want to give up or get mad at God but that's what the enemy wants.
Ugh, he's such a punk.

Leaning on Him

There are times in my life when I cannot do something by myself or at least I feel like I cannot do it. I feel powerless and scared and lonely and without confidence.
It probably happens every day and I don't even realize it. But sometimes it's about a huge thing and it makes me feel.. blah.

It happened a week ago and it doesn't even matter what it was all about but I leaned on my mom. I asked her to do the first step instead of me and I'll do the rest when I could do all the steps. BUT I got scared and I asked her to do it.

I was thinking about it and.. you know what? I leaned on the wrong person. I shouldn't lean on my mom. Not because she wouldn't be capable of doing what I asked her to do but because I should lean on God. I should ask Him to help me. Not to do the first step instead of me but to give me power, strenght, confidence and the feeling that I'm not alone and He's right there with me. I should ask Him for help but I didn't.

It happens so many times. Why don't I ask Him for these kinds of things? All I should do is just tell Him what bothers me, to trust Him, to be honest with Him and many times I don't.
Do I not trust Him? I do. Maybe not as much as I should because I'm still working on letting Him closer step by step.
Don't I believe He can manage to help me and comfort me?


I do trust Him and I do believe He can help me and I believe He is helping me all the time. I just have to get used to the fact that I have someone in my life now that I can fully trust and can fully rely on.

Kindergarten performance

As some of you know, I work at the kindergarten.
5 kindergartens, including ours, had a performance at a local theatre today (the same one where we did Joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat). Only one group of children performed from each kindergarten. My part was working with the slideshow during all the performances and so I watched the whole show.
While I was watching children dance and sing, I imagined I'm a proud mommy, sitting in a front row and crying because I can see my kiddo perform. Well.. if I'm completely honest, children brought tears in my eyes even though I'm not a proud mommy yet, especially those from our kindergarten. They were amazing!

Parents have something to be proud of!

This is a clip of our kindergarten's group. It's a not good quality but you can still see how awesome it was.
(you can see the sun in the middle and flowers and birds around.. )

Mission trip in Serbia

As I wrote before, 7 people from our church, including me, went to Leskovac in Serbia on a mission trip to work with Roma community.

It was awesome! :)
We got up at 3am on a Monday morning and left Hondo's house at 3.40am.

Our team at 3.30am, right before we left Hondo's house.

We had a long drive ahead of us. We went with 2 cars; Hondo, Gasper, Polona and I were in Hondo's car and Mateja, Alex and Meagan were in Mateja's car. As I said, it was a long drive BUT we had a lot of fun. We got to know each other a bit since we didn't know each other at all, we shared our short testimonies with each other + some cool and weird stories of crossing the borders :)
We arrived to Leskovac at around 1pm and unpacked and then we had our first team meeting. We were staying at the church which was nice because everything was going on around church.
At the meeting we met all the teams that were a part of an English Camp (Serbian team, Roma team and Romunian team - a girl from Australia, a woman from America and an older couple from UK; they've been working in Romunia for a while now ). Steve was the leader of the English Camp (Steve is American but is married to Tanja, a Serbian woman and they live in Serbia) and he explained how everything should go and just basic stuff for English Camps, we talked about the theme (Underground) + we learned the camp dance! :)

Then we had some training; how to tell someone your testimony in 2 minutes, how to answer some particular questions in 30 seconds.. it was a lot of fun + we had to switch partners every time which means we got to know different people or at least we broke the ice.
We were eating our snacks all day long so we were pretty hungry and in the evening Steve and Serbian team took us in a restaurant downtown to eat something. The prices were so LOW - my small pizza cost 1,5€. And it was a good pizza.
One thing bothered me in that restaurant - people were allowed to smoke inside. Slovenian law says you're not allowed to do that so it was quite hard to stand it but it was only an hour, we survived :)

Day 2. English camp starts. Roma youth came and.. well, it was a bit awkward at the beginning, like at every English camp.
Mateja and I went upstairs to the main room (where all the meetings were and stuff) and we just went to meet the kids and try to communicate. We even took some pictures already.
It was a lot of fun and you could feel that we were all a bit reserved but the first step was made and the atmosphere was better. Steve said hi to everyone and we did our camp dance. Fun, fun, fun :) We looked at a video cip (Alanis Morissette - Ironic) and someone talked about that theme for a while; how can some things be ironic. Then we went into discussion groups to talk about it and the discussion groups were actually our english classes so the same people were in it. There were 5 english classes at the camp; in one were Kathleen and Amanda (American lady and Australian girl), in the second one was the British couple and we had 3; Hondo+Meagan in one, Gasper, Polona and Alex in the second one and Mateja and I in the third one. So, 5 english classes.
In ours, Mateja was the teacher, I was only helping her. I was actually the one who drew all the pictures next to the words. Funny funny stuff :)
Every group had a translator, ours was Snezana, lady from the Serbian team. Nice lady.


Anyway, we had 2 hours of english and then lunch. We ate a LOT of pleskavica :) we ate mostly meat, of course and I think it was YUMMY!
After lunch we had an hour break and then we played some games in the main room (all of us) and then we went to the Roma community which they call Mahala. They said they have 3 Mahala's in Leskovac and there's around 10.000 Roma people. Wow!
So, we went to their Mahala and it was hard to see those poor people and their village. But they welcomed us just lovely. We did our camp dance and Hondo was speaking that evening. Then we went to our discussion groups and talked about the story that Hondo was telling us. You could see that some children were still 100% reserved while others were opening themselves and they started sharing things from their lives.
We ate our dinner (burek, YUMMY) and then went back to church. We had a meeting with all the teams and just talked about first impressions and second impressions.. Our team talked about it before and we said it felt like it was the last day of the 3rd year of English camp in Slovenia because Roma youth is SO open. It was really amazing how quickly they accepted us into their culture and their world which made us accept them. They welcomed us and our job was to just be ok with it. It was so easy it's hard to believe.
And it's SO great that we mostly understood everything they said in their language because Serbian language is similar to Slovenian language. It was hard at the beginning because they speak Roma-Serbian language but they tried to only speak Serbian. It was a challenge for all of us.

Everyday was quite the same even though the schedule was different but every day were discussion groups + english classes and then lunch and activities with an evening program.
One afternoon our team prepared Cowboy night and it was really great! We had cowboy hats, we learned how to dance a cowboy dance and we played a lot of games (Dead cow, Iiiha - do you know how to play this game? A GREAT game! :))..

Our English class (with Mateja) was great.



We got to know 10 kids better and it was really hard to leave Serbia, especially because of them. They are just so awesome. Not just them but all of them. They're nice and warm people and boys are such gentlemans, wow! They didn't moan if dinner was running late or we had to wait for something.. instead, they started playing games (clapping with hands..) and it was so much fun! :)
Some of them didn't know how to write or read because they don't go to school. Dejan was one of them and he was in our english class. I felt overprotective and every time someone laughed at him, I felt that need to comfort him. Laughing only happened on the first day because then we set up some rules.

Our last day of english class was different. We spoke about family and we learned basic words (mother, father, ...) and then we talked about words that should be in every family (love, friendship, comfort, encouragement, laughter, discipline..) and how most families don't have that. But one family does and that's God's family. Then we shared our own stories/testimonies and told them about the relationship that we have with God and how they can have it too (most of them know God and they say they're believers. But they don't have that personal relationship with Him).
For a goodbye Mateja and I prepared cards for our whole group and we looked up for verses from the Bible for each and every one of them. We wrote in English but Snezana translated them + the Kindergarten that I work in prepared candlesticks and we gave them that, too. They appreciated it a lot and right before we went home, boys from our class waited for us outside and hugged us and thanked us again.
It was really hard to say goodbye.















One thing surprised me - most of them have internet and facebook (and mobiles and cameras..). They seem to be very poor but still have all of that. Well, I have no idea how that works but I'm glad some of them have that because now we can stay in touch! :) When I came home, at least 5 people added me on facebook and even more yesterday. It's crazy :) they wrote me on facebook chat and it's funny because they wrote in Serbian and I'm not quite good in Serbian language. I'm trying, though, and it's kind of ok.

On our way back to Slovenia our part of the team had a lot of fun


but later we talked and agreed we're sorry we have to go back. It was the best feeling ever to see those kids get closer to the Lord and sing worship songs.. + we got a message from Steve later that day that 6 kids raised their hands when they asked who wants to accept the Lord into their heart. WOOHOO, praise the Lord! :) We were so happy and excited and sorry we weren't there to see that. We asked Steve about the names of the kids that raised their hands and I know 2 of them and one of them was in my english class! :) Isn't that amazing? :)


I wish I could go back there next year. It was the best English Camp ever!

Catching up

It's been a while since my last blog and the reason for that is so many things were going on in my life!

Ok, let's go step by step.

1. I was invited to join a team of people from our church to go to Serbia on a missionary trip to work with children from the Gypsy community.
I prayed about it and thought about all of the things I needed so I could go and.. God said yes. I wasn't sure if I'll manage to pay for the trip by myself BUT my prayers had been heard and the Lord provided money + He provided some extra money as well.
This is so huge for me!
Anyway, we leave on Monday in the middle of the night (we have to be in Belgrade early in the morning) and come back on Saturday morning. During the week we'll organize an English camp for around 60 kids from 12 to 17 years old. We'll teach them English, play games + sports with them, have dance nights.. but mostly we'll try to show them they're loved and accepted by Jesus Christ and us, we'll show them they're the same as we are, no matter what the whole world things of them. We're gonna try and break stereotypes.
Please, be a part of our team and pray for us and think of us while we're there. We really wish childrens hearts would be open for Jesus and we really want to work as a team even though we don't know each other that well.
If you'd like, you can read our youth group's blog and follow what we're doing in Serbia. We're gonna try and update things daily. Exciting! :)
The link to the blog is right here ---> http://vecmore.blogspot.com/

2. I'm applying to 3 Bible College's.
I started thinking about it in late November but started working on the idea in January. First I talked to Josh Patty and he directed me to a few websites. I checked them in detail and chose 6 schools from all around the world: Calvary Chapel in Hungary, Holsby Brunn in Sweden (Torchbearers International), Bodenseehof in Germany (Torchbearers International), Belfast Bible College in Ireland, Ravencrest Chalet in Colorado, USA (Torchbearers International) and His Hill in Texas, USA (Torcbearers International).
I looked at the applications and started filling out the easy stuff (medical part..) but left the "hard" parts for later.
After a month I talked to Josh again and he said I should pray to God and ask Him which school I should apply to. I doubted I'll hear Him but I tried and guess what!! He said "Sweden, Sweden, Sweden, Sweden, Sweden, Sweden!" I wasn't completely sure if I heard Him right (Sweden was 6th of 6 schools on my wish list) --> could I even hear Him wrong if He said it so many times?!? :) ---> so I listened for a couple more seconds but that was it. I talked to David Bordner about it later that day and he said I should ask if this is the only school I should apply to or should I apply to any other schools. We didn't know what God really wants from me - does He want me to fully trust Him and apply only to Sweden? Does He want me to follow His plan He has for me and let go of my vision? (my vision was Calvary Chapel, Hungary)
I prayed again next day and was honest with God and I told Him what I would like and when I asked if I should apply to any other schools, He said Colorado and Hungary.
Another funny thing happened right during that time - around 10 students from Ravencrest, Colorado came to Slovenia with their principal for a few days and I got to meet all of them! Aaaa :) I was nervous when I talked to Frank, the principal. I told him I'm thinking of applying to their school and he was really excited :)
During the next few days I was thinking if that was a hint from God.. oh, He's so mysterious! :)

Oh man, I turn a short story into a novel.

If I get to the poin..
For the last couple of weeks I've been trying to fill out the applications and send them. I'm not quite there yet and it'll have to wait until I get back from Serbia but I think I should be done soon. Exciting! :)

3. and most important - I GOT BAPTIZED!! :)
I decided to do it in January when I talked to Zvonko, the pastor of our church. I didn't want to get baptized in a small pool at church, I really wanted to do it in the sea.
Every year our church goes to a yearly conference to Croatia and usually someone gets baptized. Well, this year 7 of us did it! :)
David Bordner was our lecturer for the whole weekend and he talked about who men and women are and what are our dutys. This theme was hard for me and I was struggling with it on Saturday night.
I woke up on Sunday morning at 6.45 from a nightmare. I had a dream that it was forbidden to read the Bible. You were killed if they caught you with it. Well, I had it and I was reading it and so I was killed because of that. I knew in a second that "the bad guy" is trying to get to me but I stayed firm in faith and after breakfast I gave my testimony in front of almost 100 people (I was crying before I even got up there) and after that we got baptized. The water was COLD (14 degrees) but the weather was sunny and a bit windy (weather reporter said it's going to rain the whole weekend - God really took care of us) but it was unforgetable and so amazing!! I wish my family could be there with me but my sister is the only one who supports me and she was the only one who knew about the baptism. My parents just wouldn't understand.
+ I wish Anna could be there with me. She's the one through whom God worked and through whom I found God. Thank you for that, dear friend.*

A picture of Zvonko, talking to the group before the baptisms.
(I'll post more pics when I get them)

This week's been hard, I've been noticing signs of the "old Mana" all the time. It's difficult to deal with them and it's so much easier to just oppress the feelings but that's so wrong.

I'm glad tomorrow's Sunday and I can go to church and just be with people + celebrate Jesus Christ's Ressurection! :)
- Matthew 28:5-6