Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Resting and waiting - in action.

It's been 4 days since I got home and it seems like I've been at home for a month. It's not horrible, I'm enjoying it most of the time, but it is hard... Now I know why everyone at school were warning and preparing us for going back because it's so easy to backslide. Luckily, I got around 20GB (or more) of sermons, youth conferences and different kinds of messages to listen during the summer. I'm learning the discipline of spending time with the Lord every day but if I get tempted not to, there are still sermons I can listen to and get my spiritual food.

I leave for Celje in a week and what I do most of the days now is spend time with people, hang out with friends from the camps, invite them to this summer's camps... I'm preparing myself for the summer with the Lord, praying He'll humble my heart and prepare it for everything ahead of me, and I'm thanking Him for my life. It's wonderful and it's all because of Him. He's so good and caring that it sometimes still surprises me even though I've experienced His love for me so many times.
What else could I ask for?
Well, maybe a husband... :)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The devil is trying... but we have the safe net of prayer below us.

I'm leaving in 12 hours and I just spoke to my dad who said everything at home is like always... I know exactly what he meant. I've been praying more for my mom and dad for the past few days and I had a strange feeling for 2 days now and I was right.
I sent a text message to my sister if everything is ok at home and she told me my mom's been drinking for the past 2 days again.

Satan is trying... but we already won. I gave my family to the Lord again, knowing He's in control, remembering His promise of saving them.

God is faithful, willing and more than able and He never lets down.

Please, keep us in prayers - it's going to be hard tomorrow. The relationship between her and my dad will be intense and weird, and I never know how to react in these kinds of situations.
Also, pray for my sister since she doesn't know what to do and thinks the burden is on her. The same with my dad.

"I lift my eyes up, up to the mountains... where does my Help come from?
My Help comes from You, maker of heaven, Creator of the earth...
O how I need you Lord, you are my only hope, you're my only prayer...
So I will wait for you, to come and rescue me, come and give me life..."

Farewell

I leave the castle in 26 hours. It doesn't feel that bad anymore since there are only a couple of us left and most of the crying is over.

It was hard…

This morning a group of students left for Pecs, Hungary to serve for their 30-day. It was 4 girls, 2 of them are very dear to me. I don't know when will be the next time I'll see one of them, Sarah, since she probably isn't coming back.
Sarah and I were roommates last semester and we became good friends. We were both new, needy of someone to hang out with, and we ended up hanging out all the time. We realized we're not much alike and we had some hard times when we needed to sit down and talk about the problem but that made our friendship even deeper.
She's leaving for Ghana in a couple of weeks since her dad got a job there. God has something very special prepared for her and I'm so grateful I got to be a part of a year of her life.

The other dear girl is Callie, and she's coming back next semester.
Callie and I were kind of hanging out during the semester but I was in my room a lot so not really. We went to a 10-day outreach together and since then, I just feel special love for her. The whole team became a family on the outreach but even when we came back… I don't know. I don't usually attach to people anymore because it's hard for me to trust them but Callie is so simple, honest and goofy that I couldn't harden my heart and not let her became a very special person in my heart. We're all brothers and sisters in Christ but I see Callie as my sister. She knows pretty much everything about me and she loves me. I can talk to her about anything and we'll still be ok. She doesn't judge me for who I was and she's just… I don't know. I feel like she accepted me differently than others and that means a lot.
I hope we'll be roommates next semester and that we'll be working in the coffee shop together.
Callie, I love you (I know you'll read this :) ).

 Shaunice, Callie and Gabrielle

I also said goodbye to a family from Maryland this morning but they’re coming back next semester.
Shaunice, the mom in the family, influenced me a lot this semester. She’s an encourager and because her background is similar to mine, God used her greatly in my life.
Her personality is so bright and she just cracks me up :)
Her husband Gus is a very peaceful guy, so different than her, but they are a good match. They have a 5-year old daughter Gabrielle that’s the cutest thing ever. They’re black so Gabby has awesome curly hair, all braded :)
I’ll miss seeing them every day but I’m thankful I’ll see them again.


So, this is my last day in Vajta. It'll be spent by the pool with an ice coffee, and I’ll be spending some quality time with Lynn. I’m sad to leave because of her since she was one of the most important people in my life this semester.
It’s hard for me to feel comfortable to talk to people but since I’ve been working with Lynn for 10 hours per week, I got used to her being around, seeing me in every mood. She was my mentor, my counselor, my good friend and sister in Christ. Well, she still is, I’m coming back next semester so I’m hoping we’ll continue our relationship. I’m also hoping I’ll be able to be a counselor for her, a friend who’s there to help and pray.

 Graduation party (me, Paula (my Columbian roomate), Lynn)

I’m excited about the summer and also a bit scared. I’ll be at home for 10 days and then I leave for the internship program.
There are many things on my heart that I’m dealing with and I’m giving them to the Lord so He can deal with them. There are many things still unknown and that’s the scariest thing ever, it’s the step of faith but I do trust God. I see how amazing He’s been to me this semester now that I look back, and it’s so wonderful to see His grace for me. He’s been giving me open doors, all that I need… He provided it all. (I learned my name means “God provides” which is something I’d never realized before. I know my name means bread from heaven but that also means God provides.) I know He won’t let me live without things He knows I need. He’s leading my path and I’m trying to be obedient and follow.

I’ll be updating all that’s going to be happening in the days when I’ll be at home.
I’d love it if you could be praying for me:
- for a humble heart that’s willing to be shaped
- for love for my family
- that I would be focused on Jesus and not on worldly things (Isaiah 11:2-3)
- for my trust in Him
- that I would enjoy life in Him because He gives abundantly, and not worry about the details.

Thank you for all of your support, it means so much to know I’m not alone in this; yes, I have Jesus with me, but I also have all of you who are supporting me and are standing behind me. It means more than you know.

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Your light shines and my heart glows...



Our 10-day outreach to Slovenia was amazing. No… it was beyond amazing.
Even before we left we were praying a lot, the last week we would gathered every morning at 7am and prayed together as a team for 30min. 
We left Vajta on Friday morning at 10.15 and went to a town where the train would be, it was an hour away. We said goodbye to the Croatia team that was waiting for their train and then our train came! It was so exciting! It was a 6 hour train ride but we had fun. We shared our testimonies and once we came to Slovenia, we started to see beautiful mountains and our outreach officially began.
Justin, Whitney and Eno came to pick us up to the train station and took us to the church where we stayed. They ordered pizzas for us and we hang out, talked, got to know each other for a bit and then hit it of to bed. 
I wrote down everything we did day by day but it would take me forever to write that here so I’ll just tell you what all we did:
- we went street evangelizing in Velenje, Celje, Maribor, Sevnica and Ljubljana (we did our “set me free” skit in Ljubljana and Celje)
- we did some practical stuff around the church (painting, gardening)
- we were a part of a youth group
- we visited my church in Ljubljana and spent the night, hung out with my family for a bit
- we went sightseeing Ljubljana and Celje and saw their castles
- we went to a Bible study in Maribor
- we helped a couple from the church by cleaning their house in Razborje
- we went to a High School in Velenje (9 different classes) to tell them about English Camps
- we did a lot of fellowship with the church body and our team which was one of the best things ever
- we went to a park after the school was done and talked to youth
- we talked to 2 Mormon guys that we met
- we helped with Sunday School on Easter Sunday
- we went to retirement home to spend time with older people
and many more things.

As you can see, our schedule was busy but it was amazing. God’s been leading us and uniting us. We became a family and even though it was 11 of us on the team, we didn’t have any conflicts and any arguments. We split many times as a team but that didn’t affect our attitudes. 

One of the things I loved the most was that we started every day by having our morning devotions and each of us shared one day. We covered 1 and 2 Corinthians and God spoke, not just through devotions, He was speaking the whole time.
He put Velenje on my heart in August when I met 4 girls from that town during the Performing Arts Camp. It was weird that I had it on my heart since I’ve never been there before but God took care of that during the 10-day. I went there on Saturday morning when we went street evangelizing and as soon as we came into the town, I felt at peace, you know, the peace you know it’s from God because He’s the only who can give you that kind of peace. I felt joyful, filled with the Spirit and so thankful I got to be there. Alex and I talked to one older lady that day and she was at a point where she almost accepted Jesus as her Savior. Her heart’s been hurt many times so she was still doubting but we gave her our contacts, in case she wants to know more or if she’d need help, a prayer…
I also went to Velenje on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, to talk to students about the English Camp. It was so amazing and I got to talk in front of each class about my experience of an English Camp when I was 15, and I talked in Slovene. I don’t know where the courage to talk in front of a class came from, but I wasn’t really nervous, I was excited! 
One of my favorite memories is Sunday when we went to Ljubljana. My parents came to pick us up and prepared lunch for us and then took us to my church. What I didn’t know was that my sister was waiting for us there (she ate lunch with us and then made an excuse that she was meeting someone for coffee when she went to church). She wrote an email to Katka if she can be a part of a worship team as a surprise for me – it sure was a surprise!! When she got up there, I started sobbing because it meant so much to see her up there, singing worship songs! She stayed for the whole sermon and listened and the message David gave was perfect – Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. It was an amazing experience and I know that’s just one of the steps God’s doing in her life, I’m sure there’ll be much more to see.
Johnny came to talk to us on Saturday before we had our youth group and he briefly shared his and Brooke’s vision for the future. He talked about a bunch of things and one of them was what God’s been speaking to me for a couple of months now. God is amazing and it was awesome to see just another confirmation for His hand upon everything.
I got to talk to Johnny and Brooke about the coming summer and they offered me a position of internship in Celje. I had a lot of worries about it but once again, God is amazing! He planned out everything, of course, and all I had to say was “yes” :) It’s an amazing opportunity and it’s so hard for me to understand the love of God for me – I’m so unworthy of anything but He still blesses me in an incredible way. I guess I’ll fully understand His love for us when I see Him face to face, until then my heart will just stay grateful. 

He showed me how amazing He is and He showed all of us how thirsty people in Slovenia are for God. They’re open and ready but there’s usually no one there to tell them about Jesus! I know God doesn’t need people to share the gospel, He can do it all on His own but He’s so gracious that He does choose us to work for Him and His glory! 

I love the town of Celje, I love the church there and I love the people. You could sense the Holy Spirit working in them as a body of Christ and it was amazing to be a part of that with our team.

God is good and He is real, and no one can convince me otherwise. He personally revealed Himself to me and I can see Him all around.
If you don’t know Him yet, open your heart for Him and He’ll open your eyes so you’ll be able to see Him as well :)