Back in Slovenia

Yes, I've been in Slovenia for almost a week now, since Monday. I can't say I'm back home because I don't feel like Slovenia is my home. I know I'll be home in heaven but travelling a lot and having been around different cultures so much makes me feel like I don't have a home. In a good way!!

My last 10 days in the States were awesome. We went to Virginia beach for 4 days. I saw the ocean for the first time and got to see dolphins!! Shaunice and I were swimming and throwing ourselves into the waves when we saw 2 fins swimming 5m away from us! Shaunice screamed "shaaaarks!" and we RAN out of the water. Later on we googled if Virginia beach actually has sharks, and it does, but we found out big fish we saw were dolphins.

After the 4-day vacation I stayed with the Aikoo's for another 6 days and then left for Slovenia. It was a really hard week, knowing I'm saying goodbye soon. We all felt the pressure of the last week. 

My flight back was very smooth, at least the long one. I couldn't sleep at all, even though we flew overnight. I had an 8-hour layover in Amsterdam and was very tired by the time when I was on a plane again. It was a very rocky flight, that one, we landed right before a huge storm. 

I felt a lot different spiritually in the States. I felt no big attacks, I felt good, there wasn't much fear. I was resting big time, that's true, but the spiritual flow is just different than in Slovenia. As soon as I came back to Europe, and especially Italy and Slovenia, I felt fear. Much fear. After 35 hours of no sleep it still took me an hour to fall asleep and stop being afraid! What am I afraid of here? I don't really know. But I could sense a huge difference! 

I am excited about the new season in front of me. I kept hearing "be faithful in what God called you to do" in the past month and I find that really hard to do. I so long to go to Africa that it's hard for me to be in Slovenia with my heart and my mind but God is warning me before hand to be faithful in what He's called me to do. Thank you, Lord, right? Still, it's hard. Please, pray I would be faithful and obedient in things He gave me to do here in Slovenia. 

There are a lot of changes happenning - one of them is that I am moving out! In January I knew why God wanted me to stay at home - to be His light for my family. It's been over 6 months and I know it's time to move on and start living my own life, with no pressure, no fear and no depression that I so easily become a part of at home. 

I only have a plan for a month so I am pretty much stepping out in faith, beliving God will provide all that I need. Please, be praying for this as well. 

As soon as I came home, fear came upon me about my mom and about my health. My back has been hurting very much and my left part of the body is acting weird (my nerv system is not working like it's suppose to). I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I know God is in control but I am still a bit scared of what's going on. Please, keep me in prayer that God will give me courage, strength and peace to overcome these struggles, which are hopefully only temporary. 

I find out my schedule tonight, I'm very excited! Since I am a full-time student with 2 jobs now, I am sensing it'll be a lot different than what it used to be :) but I am excited. I will try to be a student (for Preschool teacher) if I will be able to go to school and study at the same time as work and do ministry. If I won't be able to, that's okay. I am trying new things and God opened the door for me to try them out. 

Concerning ministry, I am working with Junior Highers in Ljubljana (last year we had 2 groups which we united into one) and with Junior Highers in Kočevje (we started in March and we will be trying different things this year, with different people on the team). I will also be helping out with Sunday school and other kids projects we do. 

In order for me to be a part of Junior High group in Kočevje, I need to start driving a car again, after 5 years of not driving at all. I have a week until I actually need to drive on my own so that's a huge prayer request as well. I've been praying and asking God for wisdom, courage and special abilities for the whole summer and I practised a bit already but now I need to press on. 

Thank you for being a part of my life and for praying for me! Let me know how you're doing and how I can be praying for you! 

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13

Another week in the States.

I've been back in Maryland for almost a week now and we keep ourselves pretty busy :)

In the mornings Shaunice homeschools Gabrielle and then we always go and do something fun. We either wait for Gus to come home from work and then do something fun or we have the car and drive somewhere. They've taken me to all the stores we don't have - Target, Walmart, Ross, Michael's (my favorite!), TJ Max.. and we usually just window shop :)

Since Gabby is homeschooled and needs some field trips, and I wanted to see some museums in Washington DC, we decided to go downtown and explore all the exhibitions. We were planning on doing more on Monday but ended up only exploring the museum of holokaust. It was pretty amazing and horrifying. I learned about Hitler and the Nazi's at school but never connected it to the Bible. I never connected that Jews that Hitler so wanted to get rid of are God's chosen nation.
Anyway, it was a really good exhibition.
We went to see the National gallery of art of Tuesday, and then the museum of air and space. It was pretty great but we were sooo tired that we didn't enjoy it as much as we could. I also had the original Philly Cheese-stake. YUM! (even though I kind of wish it would be a bit more greasy. I guess Americans like to live a healthy life?)

We're not planning on doing anything special today BUT I am going to a Hillsong concert tomorrow with Ashley Nicole, one of the girls that lives here and is friends with the Aikoo's but we're good friends too. And then on Friday morning... we're going to the beach! :) We're going to spend 4 days at Virginia beach and go to the outlet and visit Thomas Powell's church. Super exciting!

Since I still didn't manage to get the internet on my computer, I can't upload any picture but I will soon.

Living with the Aikoo's has been so encouraging and so nice. When we were still in Hungary, we became really close. I see them as my family and living with them for a couple of weeks has been such a huge privilege. I don't know what God's plan is for all of us but I'm hoping and praying He will call us somewhere together. We'll see :) He knows what He's doing. 

End of summer 2012

I think this was one of my favorite and also one of the hardest summers.

Cricket camp was a very stretchy and easy camp. I know those two don't go together but it's true.
It was easy because we knew the place where we had the camp and we only had 11 kids signed up. Why it was stretchy for me is because I had some physical problems that occupied my mind too much and I was too stressed and worried to completely focus on the camp. My ankles were swollen, so was my right knee, and I had no idea why. I tried to rest and put ice on it as much as I could but there was no real progress.
I left Cricket camp before it ended and went to prepare things to Cakovec, Croatia where we had our Performing Arts Camp. It's my favorite camp of the year and I was soooo looking forward to it!

We had around 40 youth come to PA Camp + the same team from Modesto, CA that came last year! That was exciting since we became good friends!
The theme of this year's camp was Light The Night and most of the songs had the word "light" in them. They were amazing songs and this year's program was a lot longer than last year's. I think we did an amazing show  and God touched all of us in a mighty and very powerful way! Youth started thinking about God in a different way, I even saw God moving kids in my discussion group. I loved seeing them think and struggle a bit with some of the questions. My friend Tarisa also accepted Jesus into her life after years of thinking about it and being afraid of making that step! She did though, and we're all soooo excited! :)
God also did so much in my heart. I was very tired and I found myself crying and sobbing in my room a couple of times in that week, just pouring my heart to Him and asking Him for help.
I've had this huge struggle with fear in my life. I think it became really intense when my mom got cancer and was struggling. One of my biggest fears was that I'll get sick and die. The Lord spoke into that lie in May but I still struggled with it. We had a labyrinth night at PA camp and I was at one of the stations where you had to think about something you wanted to get rid of in your life, write it on a rock and throw that rock on the field. You also had to write down something your life is in need of, write it on a rock and keep it. I wrote "fear" on the one I threw away. I prayed over it and told the Lord I don't want it to be just something I did with a rock. I told God I wanted His help in leaving my fear of sickness and death behind. I could see the changes in the next day and by His grace I am able to fight with the fear now and really say no to it and not just let it take control over my life. It's still a struggle, don't get me wrong... but it's different. I'm doing something about it now instead of just laying on the floor, letting it beat me and take my joy.
It was an amazing camp.

A day after PA camp was done I had a privilege to fly to the States for the first time! :) I didn't write about it before because I wanted to surprise one of my friends and didn't want people to know and tell her.
I flew to Washington DC and am staying with my schoolmates from Bible College who live in Beltsville, Maryland. God was very gracious to me and He provided money and time for me to visit my dear friend Callie who was also my schoolmate at Bible College and lives in Phoenix, Arizona. I am staying with her right now actually and I fly back to Maryland tomorrow morning.

I love the States and I actually don't miss home at all :) I love tasting new food (mostly fast food), meeting new people and seeing black people! Love it :) DC is not a lot different than Europe but Phoenix is since it's a desert. I love it here though. Arizona is really clean - you're not going to see trash on the floor, anywhere! It's also very hot but the heat is dry which makes it bearable.

I've been experiencing God's love in a huge way. I know He always loves me and He always shows me His love, in different ways. But the way He's been showing me His love at PA camp and in the States... it's just amazing. The fact I'm visiting my friends in the States in great. But these are not just my friend from Bible College. These people are my family. We lived together for a year and went through a lot in that time. We went to Slovenia and Serbia for a 10-day outreach, we played cards, we laughed, cried, hugged and fought with each other. We became a very close family and I was able to come here and visit them.
I don't know if you can imagine the joy and happiness I'm experiencing and feeling.

I've been asking God to be a specific person to me when I have hard days. When I feel lonely and excluded, I ask Him to be my Best Friend, and He is. When I feel unloved, I ask Him to be my Father, and He is. When I feel sad because I so long to get married and have my own family, I ask Him to be my Husband. And He is. Right now He is being my Father in a huge way. He is loving me, providing for me and caring for His little girl like dads do.
God is pretty amazing, don't you think? Yes, He lets trials come, He sometimes disciplines us... and that's what He has to do. But the way He loves us... wow. I just wish I could love on people like He does.