My favorite cups

I like collecting cups.

An old email

In 2006, Anna, my best friend, went back to the States for 5 months to raise money so she could come back to live in Slovenia and while she was there, we emailed each other all the time. She was the best friend to me and my guidance that lead me closer to God. Her emails were my comfort when I didnt know how to find it in the Lord and they meant a lot. They still do.

(Johnny, Anna and I at English Camp in Austria, 2005)

I've been "cleaning" my old emails and I found ours. It's funny to read things we wrote 4 or 5 years ago. It's hard too, because I feel the pain I felt back then.

Anyway, I want to share a part of one email she sent me on January 23rd 2006:

..do you remember how precious and valuable you are? do you remember God wants to give you color? do you remember what your name means? that's WHO you are! Mana, sometimes when I think of you I see how you trudge along in this field and the bushes are all up over your head. You can't see and you're getting dirty and scratched up and distracted by the stalks of grain that are poking you. Sometimes you get stuck in big holes or puddles that you get you all muddy. But I LOOK FORWARD to the day when you realize that you don't have to be there. That you actually have wings that you haven't even tried out yet. I don't know if you even know that you have them. But if you believe in Christ--that's it--then you have his Spirit living inside of you.
I think one day soon, or maybe already, you'll just realize there's got to be MORE. Life has to be MORE. And you'll start flapping your wings. And it will seem really awkward at first. And you'll knock down some of the brush that's around you. And people will be confused and upset that you're not living the way that they want you to live. But for some reason it won't matter to you anymore. And BEFORE YOU KNOW it you'll just FLY! And you'll see things differently. And stuff that didn't make sense will be clear.
And you'll be FREE.
That's the day that I'm waiting for.
I pray for you.
I love you.
AND I CAN'T WAIT!

That time has come. I'm flying and people are upset and confused and they judge me. But it doesnt matter. I'm FREE! :)

An answered prayer

I've been praying to God for a change in some areas of my life and one of those areas are my relationships with people I thought are good for me but actually aren't.

I've been singing in a rock band for 3 years and in the past year our band changed.
We changed.

Well.. I changed.

I see things differently now because I have God in my life + Holy Spirit in my heart. And that changed me a lot. So.. Girls from our band (yep, it's a girls band) just didnt understand me and sometimes they made fun of my believes and fun of God. It hurt SO much to just sit there and listen to them. I prayed to God to forgive them for they don't know what they're talking about. I tried to tell them about Him but I didn't get anywhere.
So.. I prayed for a change in that area of my life. I didn't know if I have to do something or something will just happen..

And today my prayer has been answered. I didn't have to do anything but agree with what they wrote and I did. So.. I got out of the band. Just like that :)

It's a huge relief and I feel free. I really do. I'll miss singing but I'm sure the Lord will take care of that, I'm sure He'll give me something better.. something that's the best for me.

Priorities

On friday at our youth group night we talked about priorities in our lives. What are our priorities? Tanja gave us a perfect example.
One teacher showed his students a jug.
He filled it up with golf balls and asked his students if the jug was full.
They said yes.
He added really small rocks and asked the students if the jug was full.
They said yes.
He added sand and asked if the jug was full.
They said yes.
And then he added 2 cups of coffee and they all agreed the jug was full.

The explanation of the golf balls, small rocks, sand and coffee is that golf balls are the priorities in our lives. Those are things that matter the most to us. Now, that doesn't mean that we spend most of our time for them but we try to spend enough. The small rocks are things that are important to us but not as much as golf balls. Sand represents things that are not really necessary in our lives but we still have them and coffee represents that we can always take a coffe break for a friend.

We had to wrote down things that belong under golf balls, small rocks and sand in our lives and then we wrote how much time per week we spend for those things and.. well, it's a tricky thing. I found out that sometimes I spend more time for sand than for golf balls and.. I would like that to change.
So I think it's important that we keep in mind what are our priorities and what do we do about/with them.

Bible study

We had our bible study yesterday and I went after a whole month! We read John 6:22-71 and talked about what those lines say, what is the truth in them and how to use that truth in our lives. It was really great because I realized we're doing the same thing as those people were doing. They "believed" in Jesus but they were still looking for miracles and they said if they see a miracle, they'll believe Him.

I believe + trust Jesus but sometimes I just want to see something to believe Him, you know?
And when people said that to Jesus, that they want to see a miracle, he said:"Believe the One he sent." - John 6:29
In his Sunday sermon our pastor said that it's not our job to worry for money, school, relationships.. No. Our job is to believe and work. We're not suppose to just sit at home and wait for a miracle to happen, we do have to work. But while we work, we don't have to worry. We just have to trust and believe and He will open the doors for us.
Amazing, isn't it? :)